About 3 years ago I was in a relationship that if I'm being honest with myself, I knew after a year it wasn't going to work. Something happened at the end of our 1st year that made me walk away, however I eventually came back. The relationship didn’t get any better, but I got comfortable and settled in for number of years, that included a cycle of leaving and coming back. I found the longer I stayed the harder it was to walk away. I stayed for more years than I am willing to admit. Questioning myself the whole time… Why are you still here?
Comfort - The relationship was easy, and I didn’t have to put any work into it. He didn’t try and neither did I.
Familiarity – I knew him. I knew what to expect, there were no surprises. A new relationship meant having to get know someone else and their habits. I didn’t want to put in the effort.
Hope – Maybe one day things will change if I stick it out someday this will be the relationship I’ve always dreamed of.
Love – At least that what we told each other. Did we mean it? If I have to ask…
Loneliness- I was lonelier with him than I am without him.
Sex – Just being honest.
None of these are good reasons to stay in unsatisfying relationship except for love. Please know claiming love can be tricky because you can love and care for someone and not be in love with them. So, don’t confuse the two. Being comfortable is dangerous, it’s just settling. Familiarity is just being lazy. Hope is just wishful thinking. Loneliness is just an excuse spend more time with your friends and family, when your alone at home find something to do (read a book or blog). Good sex is awesome, but not a good reason to stay.
Going forward I won’t settle, at this point in my life that is not an option (it shouldn’t be an option at point in your life). I now know what I do and do not want in a relationship. Being at peace and happy out weights trying to make someone else happy at my expense. Most importantly I know that if someone special comes along it will just be a bonus to what I have going on now, not the end all be all and if it’s not working it’s okay to walk away and let it go.
It took me a long time to completely remove myself from that relationship. It’s been almost 3 years and I can honestly say I don’t want to go back. I’m not that person anymore and I Thank God. Even though I don’t regret the time spent because I learned a lot about myself, I still consider it time wasted. Always remember the longer you stay….